"I'm in a creaky old-fashined bed with starched white bedlinens in a small hospital on the island of Borneo. I watch the monitor count my heart beat. 220 beats per minute. It's impossible to think clearly, I feel as if my heart is seconds from collapsing."
Over 8 years between 2002 and 2011, I changed almost everything.
I moved from Norway to India, Oman, Syria, and Borneo. I left my job, married, and welcomed three fantastic children into our lives in two different countries (speaking the language in neither). I learned to live a life of liminality in a constant cycle of heightened stress levels, change, adjustment, and not-quite-there.
I went from having an independent job and income to being the accompanying spouse while my partner was a wage-earning career expat. He worked, I didn't. I raised the kids, he didn't. He made money, I didn't. He had formal rights, I didn't. And every three years, we packed up and moved.
We chose that life. We loved that life. We were happy. Until it was no longer enough for me.
I grappled with huge questions and doubts about my identity and career and an ever-increasing sense of failure to meet expectations. In 2011 I watched a former colleague back home comment on national television as an expert in their field. I had a long introspective look at my own career prospects (lacking), my financial status (dependent), and my independent rights to live in our host country (nonexistent).
Those realizations broke me and sent my heart spinning into overdrive.
"Stress" the cardiologist diagnosed. "Perhaps make some changes to your lifestyle."
We made significant changes in our lives that spring and started the process of carving out a space for two careers rather than one: preferably without sacrificing the global nomad life we loved.
We moved back to Oman, where I had previously researched as an anthropologist. I wanted to leverage my anthropological training and subject-matter insights into skilled migrant lives in and around Oman at work. I enrolled in the British Council's CELTA course to qualify as a language instructor and started running language and cross-cultural discussion groups with highly skilled expat partners combining language and culture. I was accepted into a writer's program, continued writing, co-authored a book, and accepted responsibility for editing and content creation at an online magazine. Alongside working on re-establishing my career path, I supported other expat partners struggling with international dual career concerns, establishing a blog to share stories and co-creating a coworking space. It was challenging, but also extremely rewarding. My heart stopped racing.
In 2019, I repatriated and have lived in Stavanger, Norway, with my husband, three Third Culture Kids, and two Omani cats ever since. For two years, I juggled three jobs: as a language instructor for adult immigrants, as focal point for Shell's global outpost services welcoming new Shell expats and their families to Stavanger, and as a parent supporting my kids navigate the Norwegian school system, cultural norms, and language. In 2021, I decided to leave language instruction behind and join Norway's largest mentor program supporting skilled migrants, Sammen om en jobb.
75% of Sammen om en jobb's members in Stavanger, Norway are highly skilled expat partners looking for relevant work. We support their journeys through resources, social and cultural capital access, and mentoring.
I had help and support from other expat partners who had walked that path before me to create a dual career aligned with our cross-border lives. I'll be delighted if this website, and perhaps a coffee and a chat can help you achieve the same.
I look forward to hearing from you and perhaps sharing a coffee. Click my name below to reach me.